Alternatives to Toilet Paper

By: Dean McClain, Mountaineer News Survivalist Expert Posted: March 15, 2020 | 04:44AM EST

The following are easy substitutes for toilet paper:

1. Buy some books at flea markets or goodwill. Goodwill books are half off on Sunday.

2. Use paper that needed shredded. Don’t try to shred after use.

3. Spring is here. Use a leaf.

4. After using toilet, sit on grass and move back and forth. This may cause smearing and greenish marks.

5. Use old jeans. Wash them frequently.

6. If asked at the store “ paper or plastic” suggest paper.

7. Old photographs of exes and in-laws.

8. Old phone books.

9. USA news and world report or Wall Street Journal.

10. Old books. Avoid using old books on your Kindle. If used please replace Kindle.

11. Order anything from Amazon.

12. Dry rock. Wash frequently and avoid sharp edges. If sharp edges are used, consult a physician.

13. Bidet or if short on cash use a watering can.

14. Order the watering can from amazon for double benefits.

Dean McClain is a freelance writer and wearer of many hats. He contributes masterful writings upon request.

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